


look what you made me do

by r4m3nlvr



Series: the jokenverse [11]
Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: (or attempts at writing rough sex but you get the point), Fluff, Jealousy, Kinks, M/M, Romance, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:13:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29042193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r4m3nlvr/pseuds/r4m3nlvr
Summary: What's the best way to get a sulking surfer boy to talk? The writer thinks he found a way, but it's not exactly conventional.
Relationships: Josh Cullen Santos/Felip Jhon Suson | Ken
Series: the jokenverse [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794040
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	look what you made me do

**Author's Note:**

> hello~! happy JOKERS' day! i previously encountered a jealous surfer boy vs. jealous writer prompt, and since i am unable to stop writing for these two babies, here you go! i'm crunching my unfinished prompts to check them off my to-do list. here's one i made for JOKERS' day~!
> 
> enjoy... er... if you're uncomfortable with rough sex (or my attempts at it), you can skip away. i swear, there's not much to see here. thank you very much!

# look at what you made me do

It was a bad idea bringing Ken to their Department gathering. It was a bad idea, but Josh still did. In retrospect, he really should have been smarter. He should have foreseen what would happen if he brought such a tall, dark, and handsome young man into a den of lionesses, but no. When the said tall, dark, and handsome young man attacked Josh with his pleading eyes and quivering lower lip, Josh could not reject him.

Now, Josh had to witness Ken being flocked by seven other women who cared not for the concept of personal space. From the opposite end of the long table, Josh watched and listened to the muffled conversation between Ken and his harem of female teachers amid the multi-colored blinking lights and the unintelligible noise from the karaoke.

“So, what’s Grumpy like as a housemate?”

“Uhm…Josh is nice…” _Ugh. Don’t smile like that_.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to lie, Ken. We won’t tell…”

“He’s really… just a great guy to have around… I like him…” _So, do you notice her hand on your bicep or what?_

“Speaking of _like_ , what kind of women do you like, Ken?”

“Uh… That’s kind of…” _Let’s see you get out of that one. Pssh._

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No…” _Tell them why. Go ahead._

“Are you looking?”

Josh sneered behind his glass, then he drank the rest of the beer that fizzled inside. He had only gone to the bathroom for two minutes— _two freaking_ _minutes_ —and already flies were buzzing around his boyfriend like he were premium steak. To be fair, Josh had introduced Ken only as his housemate, but still, where was the decency? Why the heck did his colleagues behave like that? Just watching them from across the karaoke room made him want to skewer all his workmates if there were huge enough knives for them.

What made things worse was the fact that Ken either was not aware he was being flirted with or he was just extremely friendly. Surfer boy casually flashed them his pretty wonky-toothed grin and engaged in friendly chitchat as they drank beer. He was welcoming to the strangers’ touches like he was used to people asking if they could touch his cheek or his hand. If that was how he acted with Josh’s colleagues, how exactly does he act at work? When he had a shoot or runway? Ken was going to have an international show soon. Will Josh have to worry about him making foreigners swoon as well? The writer had always known his surfer boy attracted people like moths to a flame but thinking about it and seeing it in action were two different things. Despite his warnings to his lover about being jealous, Josh could not help but grow green with envy as the bubble that separated him from Ken grew.

Having had his fill, the writer stood. If he saw any more, he felt like he might get closer to charges of murder. He walked away from the communal table then approached the bar where they laid the assortment of drinks. He grabbed one bottle, opened it, and let it go smoothly down his throat to quell his burning jealousy.

Josh was still halfway through his liquor when a shy voice from behind him said, “Ex-excuse me, Mr. Cullen Santos? _Sir Josh_ …?”

A shy voice made the writer turn, his lips still kissing the bottle. Behind him stood one of the Literature Department’s teaching assistants. Young what’s-his-name did not have many interactions with Josh, except for the few times the writer had asked him to run small errands at the department. But Josh, being the unsociable hermit he was, could not remember his name.

“My name is Chris,” he said as if answering Josh’s unspoken question. Chris pushed up his thick-rimmed glasses to a better position at the bridge of his nose. He blinked several times as if expressing his admiration through the flutter of his eyelids.

Josh might not have been the friendliest person to strangers, but he was still civil with humans. In what he hoped was an amiable voice, the writer asked, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Excitement made the young man’s face glow. “To be honest, Sir, I’ve been a big fan of yours since your early works. I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you how much your work means to me. I… I’m an aspiring writer myself.”

Josh blinked, taken aback at the seemingly genuine appreciation. He looked back to where his boyfriend was still chatting with the ladies, thought ‘ _Well, what the hell_ ,’ and began a friendly conversation himself.

* * *

Josh’s co-teachers were unlike the image Ken had of college professors. Surfer boy always thought college professors were old, grumpy, and mean. But when Ken met the ones at Josh’s department a few hours ago, he was surprised to see that most of them were relatively young, happy, and nice. They ushered Ken into the karaoke room, stuffed his plate with delicious food, and kept him company whenever Josh was busy with his own smart people things. And Ken liked talking to them; they were very attentive to him, even when he stuttered and took a while to understand what they were saying.

Best of all, Josh had no male co-workers. Well, not exactly. Josh _did_ have male co-workers, but they were either married, old, or married _and_ old. Josh not having cool, smart, and handsome guys around him all day made Ken more peaceful than he thought it would. While he promised Josh that he would not get jealous anymore, there was a teeny part of him that still rings at the thought of Josh being with another man.

But Ken did not need to worry about that right then.

“Is Josh a good co-worker?” Ken asked the kind lady beside him. She held back a laugh.

“Oh… Well, we get along, at least.”

“You mean, we _try_ to get along with him…” quipped the one on Ken’s other side.

“Haha. Sir Josh is a bit cranky at times… like, he hates people sometimes, you know?”

“Yeah… He’s scary when he’s like that.”

“Sorry.” Ken just sweatdropped. He was familiar with the days when Josh became like that. Those were days Ken had to work extra hard not to get in the writer’s way. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Oh, but isn’t Sir Josh popular among the students, though?” another lady said.

“Yeah. Especially among those from our department. He’s like… everyone’s ultimate lecturer crush.”

“Well, what did you expect? He’s well-published, he’s handsome. He’s got that cool aura around him that screams mysterious angst, and he’s got that _huuuuuge_ Dom energy! I don’t blame them.”

One of them squealed and shivered like an electrocuted goldfish. “ _Right_?! I always thought about how commanding his voice sounds sometimes.” She turned to look at Josh. “I mean, look at Sir Josh… Isn’t he _fine_?”

Ken nodded, understanding. He already knew that Josh was everything good about the world despite his spunk at times but hearing compliments about his writer from other people made his heart swell twice its size. He almost wanted to brag to the people around him how _that_ Josh was _his_ Josh, and that Josh had chosen _him_.

Surfer boy’s eyes immediately sought his writer, if only to look at his blinding brightness again. He scanned across the darkened room, suddenly not interested in whatever the people around him were saying. Only one person could hold his attention at the moment; a man who might as well be the reason for Ken’s present.

And that man was tucked in a corner of the room, talking to some other guy.

A suffocating feeling began to squeeze Ken’s lungs as familiar bells rang in his head. Josh was engaged in an animated conversation with a tall young man who was laughing as he pushed his glasses up his nose. Ken wanted to look away, but his eyes remained glued to his writer, and his feelings shifted from sad, hurt, guilty, and jealous.

Josh caught Ken’s heated gaze at the last moment. His eyes were cold and sharp like a blade, making it impossible for Ken to look away. He sneered at Ken, and Ken imagined the quiet ‘hmp’ sound Josh might have made then. As his disapproving look left Ken, Josh leaned over to the man he was talking to and whispered in his ear. The other nodded in response and said something that made Josh laugh. When the writer threw his head back, the jealousy Ken tried to keep at bay overflowed and overwhelmed his self-control.

No one makes Josh laugh like that.

Only Ken was allowed to make Josh laugh like that.

Before he knew what he was doing, surfer boy was already standing and letting his long legs carry him to the other end of the room. Each step he took accompanied the bass beating from the stereo, but the sound was not loud enough to drown the rapid beats thudding against his eardrums. With another step, Ken slipped between Josh and his companion, towering over the man he considered unwanted attention.

Ken scowled.

“ _Uh, yes_ …?” The stranger’s discomfort was apparent from the way that he stepped back.

“Ken!” Josh exclaimed.

Ignoring the nuisance, Ken turned to ask Josh with a voice that sounded like the calm before the storm. “What was that for?”

“What was _what_ for?”

“Is something wrong, Sir Josh?”

“It’s okay, Chris.” Then, Josh looked up at Ken. His awkward smile turned into a defiant frown. “We were just talking…”

“Yes, but you… You were… Uh…” No words came out from Ken’s mouth. He closed it shut, clenched his jaw, and swallowed his frustration.

“Uhm… Guess I’ll just go, Sir Josh. Thank you for the tips…”

“Yeah, I think that’s best…” Josh replied, still not looking away from Ken. “Come see me at the Department when you have a rough manuscript…”

At that, Josh gave the man a small smile, and Ken grit his teeth. Chris walked away quietly, leaving the two standing in the corner. If anyone else in the room was aware of the storm brewing between them, no one said anything.

Angry gaze locked with angry gaze.

Josh quirked his eyebrow at Ken, reprimanding and questioning.

As if Ken was at fault.

As if Josh was not intentionally trying to make him jealous.

“I think we should leave,” the writer commanded.

Ken just stuck out his lower lip and said in his most rebellious voice, “ _Fine_.”

* * *

They were tense all the way back to their condo. The cab ride back was quiet and cold enough to make even the driver awkward.

Josh had never seen Ken act like a sulking toddler, but when he wiggled past Josh as soon as their main door opened, the writer imagined that was as close as it could get. Surfer boy stomped up the steps then slammed the door shut. He hid in their bedroom, building a cocoon around himself under the sheets. He did not talk, defying Josh for the first time in their relationship, and Josh, himself hurt and annoyed, was at a loss with how to proceed.

Two hours trickled by slowly. Josh let his boiling anger subside with deep breaths. He distracted himself by finishing one chapter of a book, checking his email, and organizing his bag. He tried to coax Ken out of the covers, asking questions and trying and failing to be cute, but surfer boy was resolute. All Josh’s efforts were ignored; he might as well have been talking to a huge log. And while the writer knew he had done this to himself, it still did not stop him from getting frustrated. He sighed.

Moving past arguments and fights was still a challenge Josh and Ken had never gotten around completely. They handled disagreements in opposing ways. Surfer boy preferred to bury the hatchet while the writer was impatient and stubborn in talking things through. Josh had been trying to express himself in a nicer way, but Ken seemed content with just not talking about it. He would simply grit his teeth, ball his hands into a fist, and bite back his words. Maybe it was because he was non-confrontative in the first place, which Josh thought was good until one or both of them calmed down, but after avoiding confrontation, they always ended up not having a healthy conversation about their arguments. It was a maddening cycle, and Josh was afraid it would build up without getting resolved.

Josh laid his forehead against the bathroom wall, his thoughts spiraling downward like the hot water trickling down his body. The writer’s thoughts grew restless and anxious, not even his deep breaths helped his ordeal. If they kept going at the pace they were in, what would happen? Will they break up? Will they keep on avoiding until they get into a fight they cannot avoid anymore? Just thinking about it made Josh cold with insecurity. And Ken was so gentle… _always_ gentle. Sometimes, his gentleness hurt, especially when it kept him from expressing himself to Josh.

Josh often thought Ken needed to stop treating him like a fragile object. He took life’s best punches and remained standing, after all. He would be able to take it if Ken got a little rough with him. Whatever Ken had to say, Josh would not break down. He was not that weak. But how exactly does Josh show him that without suffocating him?

As he mused, an idea so small it was barely a flicker began to spark in Josh’s head. The more he thought about it, the more appealing his small, stupid idea seemed.

Josh ran both his hands down his face and groaned.

_Oh, gods. When did I turn into such a pervert?_

But who was he kidding? He had _always_ been a pervert. And now, at the most unexpected and inappropriate time, his perversion seemed like the only solution.

_Oh, gods. I can’t believe I want to do this._

The writer blushed. But instead of washing and finishing up, he began to clean himself a little more thoroughly.

* * *

Ken loves Josh. Josh was the single most beautiful, elegant, and graceful person Ken had in his own little world. Josh was not his life, but the man was a huge part of it. And while his writer was far from easy to handle, Ken loved him just the same.

But sometimes, Josh was stupid. _Stupid Josh, stupid_. Josh was stupid whenever he had his binges, and he does not eat for a day because he was writing. Josh was stupid whenever he tried to do things by himself, even when Ken was around. And Josh was stupid whenever he intentionally does things just to make Ken mad. Yes, Ken loved Josh, but every time he does his stupid things, surfer boy could not help but feel angry and hurt.

Earlier that night, for example. Ken knew Josh was tying to make him jealous on purpose. He had no proof, but he could tell. So how exactly did Josh want him to react? It made sense for him to be jealous. It was normal. But why Josh took that against him was unfair. And that frustrated him so much that he had to take a step back or else he might have started throwing fists… or crying. Whichever came first. So, Ken hid.

Ken was still intent on keeping to himself when their bedroom door creaked open and the bed dipped beside him. His back was turned to the door, but he could still tell that Josh had not given up on talking just yet. The writer sighed.

“You awake?” Josh asked.

“Yes,” was his brief answer.

“Still not talking?”

“No…” Ken grumbled. When he did, his chest tightened like a stress ball.

“And you’re still mad?”

Ken nodded from under the covers, and Josh heaved another sigh. The writer remained quiet, and Ken thought that was the end of it. Josh would just kiss him good night and leave him alone.

What Ken did not expect was for the blanket to be dragged from around him and for Josh to throw his legs over Ken’s stomach and keep him down.

“ _Hey—what_?!”

The steely glare was intense enough to make Ken pause. Josh looked down on him, face dark as he pushed Ken into the mattress by the shoulder. A stray thought invaded Ken’s consciousness— _Josh looks so sexy right now_ —but he cast it aside.

“Guess what?” he asked. “I’m frustrated at you, too.”

Ken remembered he was sulking. He pouted, defiant.

“So, you need to fuck me.”

Ken’s stray thought came back with a vengeance, pushing his anger aside. His cheeks began to heat up from Josh’s words. Surprise and embarrassment colored his face, and whatever retort he had got stuck in his throat.

“ _W-wha_ …?”

“I said, ‘fuck me,’” Josh repeated, gripping Ken’s collar. “I don’t need to make love or a lot of vanilla right now. _So, fuck me_. Fuck me and let me take out all this frustration on you.”

“N-No…” Ken said, trying to gently loosen Josh’s iron grip on his pajama shirt.

The writer did not relent. He grabbed another fistful of Ken’s shirt and charged, biting down at surfer boy’s lips. Sharp teeth cut into surfer boy’s lip, making him flinch, but the writer made up for it with a swipe of his tongue over the wounded flesh. Ken mewled.

Ken’s thoughts were stripped from him. All he knew was he felt his body heat up like the sun as Josh pushed their bodies together, grinding his surprising hard-on over Ken’s crotch while his lips sucked the life out of surfer boy. Ken was just about to push his attacker out of the way when the nasty sound of thread snapping and clothing ripping cut through the lewd noises in the room.

Something small and round rolled off Ken’s chest, plopping down on the mattress and the floor.

“ _Mmph_!” came Ken’s muffled yelp. He grabbed Josh’s shoulders and rolled to the side, using his momentum to trap the smaller man underneath him. With a secure cage around the wild animal on their bed, Ken looked down to see that his writer had ripped the pajama shirt he was wearing, the ones Josh gave him for Christmas.

Without the buttons, his chest lay on full display while his torn shirt looked hung like pitiful curtains over his shoulders.

“You… you ruined my shirt…!” he wheezed.

“So?” Josh asked unapologetically.

“This was my _favorite shirt_ …!”

The writer licked his lips and said, “I know.”

Annoyed, Ken grabbed Josh’s shoulders and pushed. He trembled slightly as he pinned Josh down.

“You have to apologize…” he warned, frustration making his voice shake.

“ _Make me_ ,” the writer with insolence. Then, he yanked his arms off Ken’s grip and pulled him down for another torrid kiss.

Unlike all the times they had sex, Ken could not feel an ounce of the gentle, careful sweetness that Josh always showered him with. There was only aggression, harshness bordering violence, and a need to overpower the other. The writer’s kisses were fiery and angry, almost as if he wanted to rip Ken into pieces as his hands tugged at Ken’s shirt and clawed his chest. If Josh was showing him how frustrated he was, Ken felt like he was doing a damned good job.

Right then, Ken snapped. He threw caution into the wind and repaid Josh in kind. Vicious kisses met with snapping teeth, and Ken finally caught Josh’s wandering lips. He drew out a high-pitched whine from the writer’s throat, one of the lewdest sounds Josh has made. It was followed by an encouraging and breathy ‘yeah’ as Ken made his way down the base of Josh’s throat, mapping out dotted lines on his neck.

Arousal was getting thick in the air as Ken went even lower. He ripped Josh’s robe off the same careless way his writer did to his shirt. His hands pulled off Josh’s boxers with one expert swipe before one hand found its perch on the hardened nubs of the writer’s chest. The other scrambled to reach their bedside drawer, fishing blindly for the lube and condoms they always keep in the top compartment.

But the writer did not seem to fancy those comforts. As soon as Ken leaned away, Josh clung to him and dug his teeth into surfer boy’s shoulder.

“ _Ack_!” Ken growled. He brought his heat back to the man and bumped their foreheads together. “ _That hurt_!”

“Such a baby!”

It was Josh’s turn. Claw-like hands grabbed Ken’s raven locks by the fistful and pulled him in for a kiss—searing and wet with too much teeth. Whatever complains and grumbles Ken had were lost between their crashing lips and tangled tongues. He let out a low growl, feeling an intoxicating madness build inside him and making him grow hot.

Ken rolled his hips once, and Josh’s naked erection brushed against Ken’s stomach.

“Ah— _fuck_!”

Josh’s head snapped back to the pillow, fingers definitely clawing bright red marks on surfer boy’s tanned back. Ken took it as an invitation and repaid Josh for earlier. He bit Josh’s neck like a vampire then began to suck. Bite and suck. Bite and suck and roll his tongue. His writer let out heavy moans that only encouraged Ken to do more.

“Oh—god _-Ken_!”

Josh sounded more aroused than usual. Ken just might be, too. He rolled his hips again, making sure his own clothed erection grazed against Josh’s plump butt cheeks.

“ _Ah_ -ah—Ken…!” the writer whined, tugging the front of Ken’s waistband down.

Ken batted his hand away. He gave Josh a hard look. When no apology came, he gave another rough brush to Josh’s crotch again. Ken thought me could have exploded right then and there.

Josh gave him an impatient look. One of his hands let go of Ken’s hair to squeeze his ass. “Ken, if you don’t put it in me in ten seconds, I swear—”

“ _Mmh_ —so bossy!” surfer boy grumbled against Josh’s mouth, silencing his loud writer with a kiss. Still, Ken wanted the same thing Josh did, and he finally freed himself from his boxers, letting his erection brush against Josh’s as soon as it was free.

“ _Oh_ …!” Josh looked down at Ken’s erect member and swallowed. Hooking one leg on Ken’s waist, he whined, “ _Fuck_ - _doitnow_ —”

“ _Sometimes, you’re so bossy_ …!” Ken mumbled. He let his head be cradled into Josh’s panting chest while he sloppily lubed his dick. Just as was about to ravage the man’s sweet, sweet hole, Ken hissed as he remembered. “ _Oh, no_! _Condoms_!”

Josh groaned. “Forget about the condoms!”

“But—”

“Fuck, Ken- _just do it_ —”

“Ugh, whatever—”

He plunged.

Ken took himself halfway in with a quick thrust, making his lover cry aloud in the process. The warm tightness was almost suffocating from the lack of appropriate preparation, but it was not unwelcome. In fact, for a split second, Ken thought how arousing it was. Everything was new, exciting, and, because of the prior events that evening, surprisingly cathartic. Just as he rammed all the way in, Ken could feel his frustration begin to give way with every pained moan escaping Josh’s lips.

Surfer boy began to thrust—deep, quick, and uncontrolled. The first one sent Josh keening, and Ken could see him blink back stray tears from his unfocused eyes. The next one made Josh bite his lower lip, his teeth digging into his flesh, and Ken kissed him to taste its rawness. Before long, Josh was a mess and crying while biting Ken’s ear.

“ _Hurts-ah_! _N-Not-notsofast—_ Ken!”

“This—what you wanted, right?” Josh just whimpered in reply. “I’ll give it—”

“Oh, gods—I’m—” cried the writer amid a loud string of ‘yes’s spilling out of his lips.

Harsh slapping noises and erotic moans quickly filled the air. Ken’s rugged movements sent the writer into a frenzy, his breath labored against Ken’s ears. The writer seemed to have lost his words as Ken thrust into him hard and fast, and all he could do was cling and yank and kiss and bite.

When he attempted to touch his own leaking cock, Ken pinned his hand over his head.

“ _Fuck-_ Ken…!”

“ _Apologize_ —” Ken gave him a hard thrust to emphasize, “—first…!”

“Hun, I’m—” Josh purred. “Ken, _please_ …”

Ken just pouted at him.

“What do I have to do?” he asked, Josh trying to free his hand. “Do I have to plead, too?”

“Ah- _pleaseKenfuck_ —”

“Say it, Josh…” Josh clenched around his dick as he went even faster. The writer was crying, face crumpling in impatient agony. “ _Sir_ Josh?”

“ _Omigod_ — _agh_!”

Like a magic word, Ken’s playful whisper seemed to ripple throughout Josh’s body. The writer clamped his legs around Ken’s waist and quivered inward before spewing wet, hot cum all over his stomach as he whined. Surprised, Ken’s movements came to a halt, and he looked at Josh with wide eyes.

Josh flushed a deep shade of red Ken had never seen. When surfer boy’s grip loosened, he tried to hide his face under an arm, but Ken pinned his hand over his head again.

“Did… Did that just make you cum?” A tear escaped from the corner of Josh’s eyes again. “Josh?”

“ _Fuck_ …” he panted.

Laughter bubbled from Ken’s chest. “ _Sir Josh_?” The writer grew even tighter around Ken. “ _Sir Josh_ , do you like it?”

“ _Oh, my gods, Ken_ —” Josh forced his wrist off Ken’s grip and wrapped both arms around Ken’s neck. “Shut up!”

“Don’t you like it when I tease you, Sir Josh?” But the writer did not answer except for an embarrassed whine.

Ken chuckled, and Josh slapped his back for it. Then, he began to move again as his heart became so full it wanted to explode.

It did not take long for him to find an earnest rhythm again. Josh encouraged him with jagged pants that went straight to his aching cock. Despite his lover’s protesting mewls, Ken continued to thrust into Josh, seeking his own release. On any other day, it would feel wrong for him to be using Josh, but as the writer urged him, Ken found it easy to ram into Josh’s tightness.

“Tell me— _uh—_ tell me when you’re almost there, hun,” Josh whispered into his ear, taking the deepest thrusts Ken gave him like a champ.

Ken could only swallow, nod, and keep going. It was a miracle he was still holding on. He wanted to cum so bad

“Co-co-ming—I’m cumming—”

“Cum inside me, Ken-give me—”

“ _Shit_!”

Josh kept his embrace tight as Ken gave the last of his merciless thrusts. An electric current made him tremble, and he released his seed inside the writer with a low groan. As his thrusting slowed down, his strength left his limbs and he finally collapsed over Josh, not quite able to pull out.

The writer caught him and cradled him as he came down from his ridiculous high. Buzzing noises and bliss muffled Ken’s head as his arousal left his body in a heated mess. He twitched every so often, his body oversensitive even as Josh brushed fingers over his back and his hair.

Ken caught Josh’s sniff just as he winded down. There were dried tears on Josh’s cheeks and his eyes were obviously red when Ken looked up at him. A pang of guilt began to prick Ken’s heart, and he leaned up on his elbows to kiss his writer’s tear-streaked eyes. Then, he kissed Josh’s cheeks, his jaw, before his lips finally came home to Josh’s. Feather-light kisses were exchanged for the next minute.

“Where’s my apology?” Ken asked he gave a kiss to Josh’s hairline.

The writer chuckled before reciprocating. “I’m sorry…”

“Hmp…” Ken kissed him again. “For…?”

“For… making you jealous. And for… I don’t know. _This_?”

Ken pouted and kissed him again. “Apology accepted… Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?”

“My hips… and my back…”

“Okay, okay…” he replied, blushing. “I’ll give you a massage after we bathe.”

“I’m fine, Ken,” Josh told him, beaming. He seemed to glow. “I feel more relieved than hurt, really. What about you?”

“I don’t know…” Ken replied, because he really did not know. “But… I’m not mad anymore. I can never stay mad at you, hun…”

Josh cringed, but he smiled at the affectionate nickname, anyway.

“I was jealous,” he explained. “I know I said we shouldn’t get jealous, but I did. It’s just… You don’t know how those women were looking at you… and you’re so innocent and open that you just let them touch you so familiarly.” Josh traced Ken’s collarbone with the tips of his fingers. “I didn’t like it; not in the slightest.”

“I didn’t even know they were flirting with me,” he said. “Because most of the time, we were talking about you.” Then, he pouted. “And then, you had to be… to act cute with that guy… and I think I lost it then… because you looked at me like you were mad and I… I just got mad, and… I dunno…”

Josh nodded. “Yeah, that was my bad. We’re both idiots, aren’t we?” Ken continued to look at him, trying to memorize the way Josh’s eyes twinkled as he smiled. “Why can’t we talk about this calmly? Am I… hounding you?”

Ken shook his head.

Josh quirked an eyebrow at him, and then he nodded.

“Because… you know I’m not good with words like you, right?” he asked. “I feel like… when you ask me, sometimes, you’ll be angry with whatever I say.” Josh nodded. “I can only say what I know how to… but… sometimes, I feel like that’s not enough, so… that frustrates me, too.”

“I’m sorry…” Josh planted his lips on Ken’s chin. “I can’t stop you from being jealous, Ken. And I’m sorry if I vainly thought I could before. But just know that even if I spend time with other guys or my workmates or whomever,” Josh lifted his left hand, brandishing his tattoo ring like a badge, “I’ll only come home to you. So, if you’re feeling jealous, remember whose mark I wear on this hand, okay?”

Ken nodded. “Okay…” There was so much more he wanted to say and express, but Ken saw the gentleness in Josh’s eyes and knew his ‘okay’ was enough.

“And… I’ll take my own advice, too,” Josh continued. “When I get jealous, I’ll tell you. Just… don’t run from an argument, please? I don’t want us to go to sleep fighting. Can we promise that, at least?”

“I promise…” Ken gave him a fond look. “Anything and everything?”

“Anything and everything.”

Ken giggled. “Are we going to… do _this_ every single time?”

Josh blushed. “No… This was just… a desperate measure. Next time, you’re going to have to learn to talk.”

“Okay…”

“But… if you’re up for it, I mean… You seemed to get into it right off the bat—”

“You ruined my pajamas…”

“But then, you seemed to be enjoying it…”

“Don’t tease me. I’m not the one who came first, _Sir Josh_ …”

Josh hid his face with one hand. “Oh, gods. That was embarrassing. Why did you have to say that?”

They continued to talk until Josh sat up, Ken following him. A few minutes of conversation more and Ken gladly picked Josh up to carry him to the bathroom. Their apologies turned into lighter chitchat which turned into kissing and then making love for a second time, gentler, more loving, warmer, just like Ken preferred. Just like he knew best. And even if he figured that Josh had his preferences, too, it made Ken feel loved that his writer let him do what he wanted, observing him, and trying to learn all about him from the inside out.

As for Ken, he felt like he was learning something knew about Josh again. It was not something he could put a name on, but Ken could describe it from the way Josh whispered his name like a prayer or the warm and fuzzy feeling he had every time their bodies moved in unison as if they were two parts of a whole. When both their skins were blotted with purple and red, Ken knew Josh had taught him a new thing—they learned it together—and he realized the man in his arms was someone he would rather not live without.

**Author's Note:**

> now that this is done, no smut until the next anniv! :)
> 
> kidding. I'll be writing TPIAO now (amongst other things... dear gods help)


End file.
